It’s so difficult to get some good sleep lately. Either due to heat waking me up early in the morning or due to russians shooting their missiles at us again. Or just something else entirely like an uncomfortable bed and pigeons making noise at 5 am. I dream of the day when I would be able to crank the AC to maximum cooling and have a big soft bed all to myself for 10 to 12 hours.

I have been trying my best to get some good sleep for some time now. Best I was able to achieve was somewhere in the neighborhood of 7 hours last night. And I must thank all gods I know for that because yesterday I was barely functional.

Do you know the sensation when your toes are hot in your shoe and stick together? You try to wriggle them to make it better, but it does not help. If the situation allows, you take your shoe off and try to air out your foot so it cools down, but it still does not help as well as you expect.

I have been having similar sensation but on the scale of my entire life for past couple of months. I am stuck in a small apartment where there’s not enough space for all my things. Where I was able to find places for items, it became difficult to access them. To get a hammer you need to first un-stack some heavy containers from one another, then open the container where hammer is and then perform all of the operations in reverse. For me something that is buried so deep in layers of containerization is just as good as gone.

I don’t have AC. Hypothetically I even have money to buy it. But I can’t install it because reasons.

And to top it off, I cannot get rid of the cold I caught about a week ago. It seemed to be coming to an end, but then it just… remained. I still have some weird sensations in my nose and yesterday my head ached almost an entire day.

It would seem that the end of my misadventures is close: I have found a job and Aug 1 I’m starting a new position that will pay even more than my previous one.

… But it still feels like it’s not going to solve everything. I need to find a new place to live much sooner than I will get my first paycheck. And the market is just… fubar. And besides, even if I found a nice place to live soon, I am not ready mentally for another move. I haven’t fully recovered from the previous one, which took about three days and a lot of money. Much more than I planned and was comfortable with.

I hate making hasty decisions out of desperation. Such decisions are always bad and just set you back – in money, time or both. I know that trying to run away from pain immediately will result in bigger loss than well thought-out gradual strategy, but so far I don’t see where such strategy might start.

I want to believe that the Universe has something awesome in store for me, the way it has happened previously, but so far I don’t see any hints of that.